


Through New Eyes

by tsheps



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/F, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-11
Updated: 2015-04-11
Packaged: 2018-03-22 07:43:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3720697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsheps/pseuds/tsheps
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jane Shepard has known Liara T'soni for so long.  They've been through so much together and know each other so well.  But Shepard has never seen Liara like this before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Through New Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> I decided I wanted to try and write something in first person since that isn't really my style and I wanted to stretch. I was just working up the nerve to finish my latest playthrough (I always delay that final assault cause I don't want it to end). I've never done the romance option of waiting for Liara and FemShep to get together until ME3, so I did my little writing project from that angle.
> 
> Really I just wanted to write more FemShep/Liara cause, you know, OTP.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

It's such a cliche, and I know it the moment the thought pops into my head.  That doesn't stop it from being true, though.  Suddenly looking at someone I've known forever and seeing them in a new way.  Looking at them through new eyes.  That's exactly how it happens.

 

Well, how it happens is that I hear gunshots in the air ducts and drop down behind cover.  After a few moments, the grate drops to the ground, quickly followed by a blue figure in a long white coat.  A very familiar blue form in a very familiar long white coat.  She throws a singularity, catching the two Cerberus troopers helpless before she puts them down with a few well placed shots.  She turns and I stand and the asari I see is a mirror image of the one I met in those prothean ruins.  Where she had been weak, Liara is now strong.  Where she was meek and scared, Liara is now bold and confident.  Where she was a friend with a sweet face, Liara is now the most breathtakingly, heartstoppingly gorgeous woman I have ever laid eyes on.  I look at her and can barely speak.

Then she says my name and takes my hands, running a thumb over my gloved knuckles.  Even without skin contact, my body is abuzz.  Thank god Ash speaks up in response to Liara's questions about Earth.  Even with all of the destruction and horror there, all I can think about is the slow rub of her thumbs on my fingers.  She probably figures out something is up.  She could always read me like a book.  It takes a while, but I finally pull my head back in the game when she says something about coming to visit me in prison.  The image of Alliance HQ disintegrating into flames around me.  The kid on the roof.  I need to focus or the galaxy will burn.

Considering that the mission on Mars is a complete disaster and Ash almost dies, I feel like a total jerk to be so happy watching Liara in the shuttle with me on the way back to the Normandy.  I should be focusing on Ashley or on Dr. Eva or on the Reapers, but all I can think about is the soft curve of her jaw.  The way the corner of her mouth turns up a fraction at the sight of Joker.  The way my stomach lurches when she throws an arm around him and hugs him.  She hadn't hugged me.  We aren't the hugging sort.  We should start being the hugging sort.

Once things settle down enough that I could think about getting some shut eye I track down the super eager communications specialist.  Joker had mentioned that she was part of the retrofit team and wanted to brief me on the changes to my boat.  Something told me that, if I didn't talk to her now, she would pick the worst possible moment to track me down.  Predictably, she stumbles over her words and can barely speak.  And she is in charge of communications.  Gotta love the military.  Anyway, I get it out of the way and am able to sack out in peace.

Then there is the dream.  The kid from Vancouver running through the woods.  Flames and screaming.  And everyone calling my name.  Always someone needing something from me.  More disturbing than the images that wake me up is how quickly my mind shifts from them to images of Liara.  Her smile.  The perfect blue of her skin.  The freckles on her cheeks.  The way she looks down self-consciously when I praise her.  The confidence of her stride.  The ferocity in her eyes during the heat of battle.  The way she fills out that white coat.  What it would look like on the floor of my cabin. 

I have to get out of bed and splash water on my face after that one.  I should still be upset about the destruction of Earth and about Ash, but a smile keeps creeping onto my lips when I think of Liara.  Even the ring of her name in my head is hypnotic.  The cold water helps wake me up.  Reminds me that I can think about her all I want, but my chances with Liara are probably zero.  Back on the first Normandy she had expressed interest in me, told me she had feelings.  I shut her down.  She was so naive and so shy and so in awe.  I felt like it would have been taking advantage.  Especially considering I was her superior officer. 

I hadn't really had time for relationships anyway.  Not on the first Normandy and not when Cerberus brought me back.  There had been more than a few offers.  Chambers showing up at my door dressed like a dancer from Afterlife had been particularly awkward.  I felt like there just wasn't time.  Until I saw her on Mars, I still felt that way.  Maybe I missed out on something during all those years, but once I knew about the Reapers it seemed selfish to look for love. 

Then the Reapers show up and love finds me anyway.  Too late, though.  I saw the hurt in her eyes when I said no before.  She has kept me at arm's length ever since.  Even when we were getting rid of the old Shadow Broker together.  Even though she made it clear there was nothing between her and Feron.  You'd think if there were any lingering feelings she would have shown them on Illium when I walked into her office after dying.  But she didn't.  It has to be because they aren't there. 

I hear the door to my cabin hiss open and throw down the towel with a sigh.  I guess Traynor wasn't satisfied with the virtual tour from earlier.  But when I walk out of the bathroom, the face that has been haunting my every waking moment is right there, looking at me.  It's only been a couple of hours since I saw her last, but it feels like coming home after years away to see her smiling at me now.  Pure bliss.  Followed very quickly by a twisting in my guts.  She's unattainable.  She asks me if I'm okay and I throw out something about bad dreams.  Not a lie, per se, but not the cause of my misery.

She knows.  She can see through me with those piercing blue eyes that twinkle in the glow of the fish tank.  She tells me rather than asking me that the dreams aren't the only thing bothering me.  I tell her about Earth, and it feels real as I speak.  The face of that little boy swims in my vision and it is hard, true, but not nearly as hard as stopping myself from reaching out to cup her perfect cheek.  When I finish she reassures me and the kindness in her voice makes me want to cry.  Maybe I shouldn't have put Traynor off, an interruption right now would actually be kind of nice.  No such luck.  Worse, I can't even pretend that I feel better.  I don't.  I feel so much worse.

"Right, now that we have all of that out of the way you can tell me what's really wrong."

"I don't know what you mean."  But I do.

"You've been looking at me oddly since we met on Mars.  If you would prefer I leave the Normandy..."

"NO!"  I yell so loud my throat hurts.  "No."  Calmer.  That's better.  "I don't want you to leave, Liara.  I need you."  The words are a realization as I say them.  No matter what her response, even if she turns me down, I have to tell her how I feel.  I have to try because I need her more than anything I have ever needed in my life.

"Shepard, you are a powerful biotic in your own right.  You hardly need me on your team, and if I make you uncomfortable for some reason..."

It's now or never.  I walk over to stand near her.  As close as I can get without losing my self-control. 

"I didn't say I need you on my team.  I do, but that's not what I meant.  I mean I need YOU."

She looks genuinely confused, "You'll have to explain a little more than that, Shepard."

"Jane.  Call me Jane."

"If you wish.  You'll have to explain a little more than that, Jane."

The sound of my name on her lips is almost too much.  I smile so wide it hurts.  My smile falters when I realize I have no idea where to start.  It's quiet for a long time while I just look at her and she looks back.

"Liara..."  

That is pretty much the only word in my mind, so it's all that comes out.  She smiles indulgently at me and reaches out for my hand.  I'm not wearing gloves this time, but she is.  Still, the heat of her fingers on my palm is so comforting.

"Take your time.  You know that you can trust me with anything."

"Do you remember the talk we had on the first Normandy?  The one... um... after Virmire?"

She blushes and looks away, so I know she knows which talk I'm referring to.  She doesn't let go of my hand though, so that's something.

"Yes.  I remember.  I shouldn't have..."

I cut her off.  It's rude, but I don't want to hear her take back what she said then or tell me she doesn't feel the same way now.  It would destroy me to hear that.

"I've done a lot of things in my life, Liara.  Some of them were mistakes.  Losing Kaiden.  Working with Cerberus.  Picking Udina as counilor.  The batarians in Bahak."

"None of those things were your fault.  You did what you had to..."

"I don't regret a single one of them."  Here we go.  "There's only one thing in my life that I regret."  Her eyes are so wide and so blue, and I can't stop myself from reaching up and trailing my fingertips across her freckled cheek.  "And that is turning you down that day."

I stop talking, kind of hoping she would start.  She doesn't.  She is perfectly still and perfectly silent.  My hand is still on her face, just barely touching her skin.  The moment stretches and warps into something painful.  I drop my hand back to my side reluctantly, a lump rising in my throat.

It takes everything I have to open my mouth and speak. "I'm sorry."  I'm looking at the toes of her shoes.  They're scuffed and sprinkled with red dirt.  "That was unfair of me to say."  I move my eyes to our hands, our fingers still laced together.  "A lot of time has passed.  We're different people."

There is a tug on the hand that Liara is holding.  Then gloved fingers graze over the back of my neck, burying themselves in my hair.  Her lips are on mine and my heart is thudding so loud I think my chest might explode.  It takes me a while to remember to kiss back, but I like to think I make up for my initial shock.  I have absolutely no idea how long we stand there wrapped together.  If it were up to me it would never end.

She breaks the kiss but only pulls her face back far enough to look into my eyes.  She stares up into them for a long time, and I can feel the smile on her lips rather than see it.  I let myself get lost in her eyes.  Noticing little gold flecks dotting the perfect blue.  How had I never noticed them before?  I guess I never looked into her eyes like this, like it would be the most glorious thing in the world to have decades to memorize every little nuance.  My eyes start to burn and water, but I won't let myself blink.  I can't lose one second of looking at her. 

Her voice is so soft and serene when she finally speaks. 

"Do you know how long I've waited for you to look at me like that?"

   


End file.
